19 things I've learned in my 19 years.

I turn 19 next week and the thought of this literally makes me question all things, because I remember my fifth birthday party like it was yesterday and as far as I'm aware, it was yesterday. But time passes faster than I'm willing to recognize, so here we are. I'm almost 19 and life goes on.

So, without further ado, here are the 19 main lessons I've taken away from this little thing I'm embarking on called "life."

1. Be so willing to participate in the unexpected. Cannot emphasize this enough. I'm a big believer in spontaneity (as long as it's safe as I am also a very cautious person), and some of my most spontaneous decisions have been some of my very favorite.
2. Before attempting to grasp at straws for approval from others, learn about your heart first. Learn how it functions, what it likes and dislikes, how much sleep it needs, etc. Because if we fall headfirst into this life without knowing what is required to sustain, fuel, and energize our hearts, then we will surely run dry in no time.
3. Nothing of this earth lasts forever, but be thankful while you have it. There's some days in life that I'm convinced I'll get to relive in Heaven, because they were so purely from the Lord. I am certain that our dreamiest, most fun, love and laughter-filled days are ones that give Him pure joy, and when we enter the gates of His kingdom, we will feel all these emotions and then some all over again because we'll get to experience it with JESUS.
4. You cannot outthink God's will by any means. Last year, when planning for college, I made the huge mistake of trying to squander a feeble little plan for myself that I thought was gonna pan out. So glad it didn't. He knew every step of the way exactly what I needed: it was like His heart whispered "Let go; I've got you" to me. His will is going to leave us so awestricken when we see it unfold in all its beauty; I promise.
5. God can shape your heart. You want to know how I decided to pursue writing? I didn't. I literally woke up one day and it was the first and foremost thing on my mind. It was God Himself giving me a vision of what He could do if I just obeyed and walked alongside Him. The day before that morning, I thought I wanted to be a neuropsychologist and I was vehemently against ever becoming a writer. I was ignoring the obvious gift that God had given me. Assess these core strengths and values in your own life and ask God how you can make your heart more like clay: willing to be shaped and molded at all times.
6. Spend as much time outside as possible. You'll be glad you did when you're 87 and stuck in a hospital all the time. Sunshine is so good for you. Of course, I say this as I'm holed up in my dorm room, staring at my computer screen. But to be honest I'd much rather be sitting outside right now.
7. Seek out friendships that have a mutual desire for things of the heavenly realm, and a mutual distaste for the things of this world. That really about sums it up. The saying "you become who you spend time with" is so, so, so true people. Since moving to college I realize I've picked up some mannerisms from the girls I spend most of my time with--as it is a mimicking of the people I admire the most! So if you're gonna mimic some people, make sure they're good ones.
8. ​You're not going to be the best at everything, and thank God for that. When I was 8, I found out that I had something called dyscalculia which is like dyslexia for numbers. I cannot do math to save my life, okay? And while I struggled with it for a very long time, I've learned that's the best possible thing for me. If I were good at everything, then there would be nothing to learn. And learning is so fun. Learning is life itself. So when you realize you aren't good at something, just throw your hands up and thank God you get to be bad at something.
9. Be inclusive. Be a hospitable, friendly, and easily accessible person. Never seek to be someone who is revered--seek to be someone who is known and loved because of what makes you imperfect. Don't be someone who hides imperfections for the sake of image. Share your brokenness with others and you will bond over the many scars you share.
10. Don't go somewhere just to get a good Instagram. Never force a photo. I struggled with this when I was in middle/early high school--everywhere I went, I'd approach it with an angle of "How will this look on my Instagram feed?" Just live your life and if you get a cool Insta along the way, good! Use it!
11. Your small stories are real stories, but they all add up to a bigger story that God is writing. I need to hear this often: when my heart functions in rhythms of insecurity and inadequacy instead of being known and loved by the heavenly Creator. Every little thing you do is going to somehow work out in the long run, only because Jesus died on the cross.
12. Just as God gave up His ideal circumstances to be present on Earth, give up your own ideal circumstances to be present in broken places. It doesn't have to be a mission trip to a faraway third-world country, though those are necessary. You can knock on the door of your neighbor and ask to hear about their brokenhearted-ness. This is the Gospel, and this is God's true vision for His people.
13. God wants the best for you. Yeah, read it again. Take it in. It brings me to my knees to witness that HE WANTS THE BEST FOR ME. Sometimes this truth goes unheard in a world that focuses its lens of God on His "inability" to make their manmade desires become a reality. Sometimes it feels like the world tells you, "God won't do that for you. It's too good to be true. For you, that'll never happen." Focus your lens of God on not only His ability to fulfill promises, but His desire to.
14. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Ministry is all about brothers and sisters in Christ uplifting one another so that they might know Him and see others know Him more greatly. When I first started doing volunteer work for some different ministries in my senior year of high school, one of the main things I learned was that I couldn't pour out God's wisdom if I wasn't actively seeking to learn it. You have to be going to events that fill your cup, so that you will be teaching/pouring from a cup that is overflowing!
15. ​There's not a way for you to trust God fully while walking down the path of unrighteousness. Matthew 7:13-14 tells us: "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." You will not reap the benefits of God's glory if you talk like a Christian while walking down the path to destruction. Likewise, Revelation 3:15-16 says: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Here, the metaphor for hot and cold means either in our out with God. You can't have both, y'all! I cannot overstate this enough.
16. Respect all people. People's emotions are so important. They are so vital to human existence. The Bible calls us to love one another, and part of love is respect. Be someone who respects and loves and seeks to know what there is to respect about someone's heart.
17. Leaving a place you've loved for as long as you can remember multiplies your love for it in unparalleled ways. Even the little, insignificant things--the one-way streets that make you go in circles to get to your destination, the brick streets that make you jiggle when you drive, the bird that sounds like your dog whining in the morning, the wood floors in your house that creak when you step on them, the distant sounds of trains barreling down the tracks, the airplanes buzzing overhead, the in-between class conversations that rarely make sense, the way the light falls through the windows of the sanctuary at church, the inordinate abundance of palm trees on every street... all of it. Appreciate it now. Because it feels ordinary now, but you'll return and find it's always been home.
18. ​Don't be afraid to ask God for big things. He always delivers. He humors our dreams because our hearts belong to Him. In fact, He does more than just humor them--he relishes in and treasures the sincerity and earnestness that our hearts contain when it comes to our big desires.
19. Lastly: Make it a goal for your Bible to be falling apart. Don't go through life with a spotless Bible. Girl, mark that thing UP. Make it your own. After all, it's one earthly possession that connects our hearts with the heart of the Father. UTILIZE IT.

Out of these 19 things, I have mastered approximately 0 of them. They're all things I know in my heart. I carry them with me. I know I'll never fully master them but I'm so glad there's grace.